Dear Sid,

I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you’re in pain. I’m sorry I never took the time to take any photos of you. I’m sorry you’re spending a night alone at the vet’s… but I’m glad tomorrow morning you will have someone there who cares for you as you go to sleep. I hope you understand. I hope you had a great life and that you look back on your memories fondly. I’m glad I got to spend at least a little time with you today, but I wish I’d spent more time actually talking to you rather than worrying about you. I hope your journey to the rainbow bridge is peaceful.

A cat at work today, I found him and knew he was sick. I took him to the vet’s. My boss later told me that the reason he couldn’t walk well was because of a horrible ear infection that has moved to his inner ear. Due to the stress treatment would put on his very frail body, the amount of pain he is certainly in, and the fact that he is 19 years old or so, we all made the decision to humanely euthanize tomorrow morning and let him be at peace. But still, there is a part of me that feels guilty somehow. Tonight I cry for Sid. RIP old man.

Some things that are perfectly acceptable and understandable from wee puppies are not nearly as acceptable and understandable when coming from an adult dog.

Like puddles on the floor. If it’s a little puppy you really do expect that sort of thing and you know it’s not the pup’s fault. You just try harder to be a better mom, take them out more often. When Zoe was a pup I never complained about having to take her outside all the time. When Oreo was a pup I got up middle of the night every night, sometimes twice a night, to take her out. I could barely see through my droopy sleepy eyes, but I did it without complaint.

However when it’s a 2 year old dog that leaves a puddle on the floor that’s a different thing altogether. I’m really not so amused anymore by Zoe waking me up at 5am to take her out - she’s 2 years old, she ought to be able to hold it for an entire night.

Right now both dogs are being whiny. We got a major snowfall last night which means people are shovelling, snowplows are going by. Zeeke is barking a lot, and then subsiding into whiny whimpers when he realizes no one is going to let him out there. Then Zoe joins in. It’s a cacophony of twitch-worthy high-pitched whines. They’re driving me nuts! I know that there are exciting things going on outside… but Zeeke needs to learn that not everything is worthy of a 3-siren alarm. The snowplow does not need to be heralded with an intruder alert every single time it goes by. (Light forbid he stop in front of his house to scrape his windsheild, like he did last night.)

Plus right now Denis is outside shovelling the driveway. Zeeke does not like that. He hates it anytime Den goes outside without him, but for some reason shovelling snow is the worst. Zeeke goes freaking nuts if he’s allowed to see him through the window. So this is why we’re all locked in the bedroom for a while. Hopefully the dogs will get used to the sounds outside and just give it up for a while.

I have been out of commission all this week due to surgery, so I’ve been spending an aweful lot of time in bed with my laptop, unable to do much else. The pets have been pretty good about it… the cats are still getting into everything (I think we’re going to have to purchase some cabinet locks) and Zeeke likes to bark just when I fall asleep, but all in all it’s going well.

The cutest thing is that I wake up and find all of Zoe’s toys piled on the bed. Yesterday there were 5 of them, including a kong, a rope, and a squeaky toy. They’re not for me, I don’t think - but she brings all her toys up to keep herself company while she’s keeping me company. She’s been very good at just occupying herself and napping until hubby gets home to take them outside and feed them.

I’ve just been careful to keep them all off my stomach, especially Merlin who has a habit of it. It’s been good, though - no accidental stepping on mommy’s incisions.

Well the change in daylight savings time seems to have solved Zoe’s waking up early. Maybe she was just trying to transition me?

I just had (minor) surgery, but it’s making it hard for me to deal with, well, anything. I have incisions on my stomach so it’s hard to get up, move around, and even hard to yell. Den has been home for most of the past two days to help me with the dogs. They’ve been pretty good, considering… Zeeke has been barky, which is annoying when I’m drifting in and out of sleep (the anesthesia really makes you drowsy for a day, then the pain meds do a number on you!). But other than that things are going pretty well.

Zoe has spent most of the two days on the bed beside me, whether napping or playing with Merlin or chewing on a toy. She’s good company, if a little pushy at times - whenever Den comes in to spend time with me she’s all over him with licks and wiggles and just won’t leave us alone! Den still needs to work on being more firm with her in not letting her get pushy. It’s funny because he definitely doesn’t let Zeeke get away with the same things, but when I tell him to push her away he gives me a sad look and says, “But she’s so small and cute!” Oy! He’s a softy sometimes.

The cats are doing really well still. Still into everything they can get into, of course. I set up Merlin’s water fountain again, and twice he’s already dis-assembled it. He’s not content just drinking the water from the fountain, he must find out where the water is coming from… which involves him popping off the top, sticking his paw into the bubbling part, and in the end pushing the fountain around the room so much it comes unplugged from the wall. :sigh: It’s cute that he loves it so much and all, but it’s annoying to have to put it all back together nearly every day!

Spring seems to be here - or at least a precursor to spring. The snow has almost all melted, finally… though what hasn’t melted is still in that dangerous icy mass stage. I think Zoe is excited to see grass again. When all there was on the ground was snow she’d spend half her time outside digging, I’m guessing to catch some scents from the ground itself. Now she wanders from grassy patch to grassy patch, sniffing before she squats to pee. It’s just really nice to not get numb fingers and toes when I take the dogs out. Hopefully we’ll get to spend a little more time out there letting them run around a bit on their long leads and burning off some of that energy.

We’ve been playing fetch with them indoors. Zeeke loves to chase, but he’s not so great at the bringing it back. He got as far as spitting the toy at Den’s feet - which, trust me, is better than he was doing. Den enjoys playing fetch with him, he just doesn’t like having to wrestle him for the toy every time. We do need a better space for it though… our hallway is narrow and not very long, plus it’s all hardwood and I worry about Zeeke’s hips (and my walls!). Too bad it’ll be a long while before we get the basement all done.

Hubby takes the dogs out every morning at 7am on those mornings when he’s working and I’m not, so I can stay in bed. (I return the favor in the evening.) So WHY does Zoe always wake me up at 6:30? Zeeke just lays down and waits. He knows when daddy’s coming. Zoe either still hasn’t figured it out, or is too impatient to care. She will whine and bark for half an hour. And yes, she always gets taken out before bed. She’s nearly 2 years old! She can’t possibly not be able to hold it.

Well anyways this morning she woke me up at 6. I got up to take her because there was no way I was going to listen to her for an hour - and since it’s rather unusual for her to wake me up that early I figured it was somewhat important. But when we got out there she didn’t even seem all that insistent in going. She did, finally, but she didn’t race off into the woods or anything - she actually was more interested in sniffing around. Gah. I swear.

Merlin has been a complete psycho of late. I don’t know if it’s his age, the weather, or a combo of the two - but he’s a little tazmanian devil. He runs around pushing things off tables, he tries to eat my food, he uses my carpet as a scratching post, he attacks any remotely string-like object (he attacks my pants as I’m pulling them on!). He’s still a major cuddler, he’s just… hyper. Sometimes I can’t wait for him to grow up!

Thank goodness he has both Jo and Zoe to vent his energy on…. between the two of them he does manage to get a complete work-out. The two cats run around during the day and night… up and down the hallway, up on tables, furniture, crashing into things as they roll around. Then with Zoe… it’s mainly on our bed that they have their wrestling matches.

Jo, by contrast, has mellowed out a lot. I think it’s in big part due to all the energy he expends playing with Merlin. He used to be pretty hyper himself, and now he’s almost always sleeping or just sitting around. He just acts much more mature than he did before. It’s kind of cool and sad at the same time. Jo is definitely still the pampered boy though. Hubby says he’s the cuter cat (I think Merlin is) and makes sure he gets his kitty treats and bonding time every morning. Yesterday Jo was in hubby’s office and wanted out, but Zeeke was running around… so hubby picked Jo up, cradled him protectively, and walked him to the kitchen. It was so sweet. (But of course, hubby doesn’t LIKE cats. Oh no. Not at all.)

Zeeke… is still frustrating. The last few weeks he has felt the need to bark from about noon until hubby comes home at 5. And it starts when I’m still in the bedroom with him. I don’t know if it’s boredom or frustration or maybe just a reaction to other dogs or kids he hears in the neighborhood… but it’s really freaking annoying. This is new behavior for him too, which is what makes me think it isn’t just normal boredom or frustration. He knows the routine, he’s generally okay with that.

We took down the babygate to the kitchen on monday. The dogs have been doing pretty well about it. Zeeke better than Zoe - Zeeke knows exactly where that line is and only creeps across if he knows no one is watching. Zoe on the other hand seems to be a bit of a valley girl… I swear sometimes she’s blond. Either she really is a ditz or she plays the innocent really really well. But while I’m sitting there she’ll kind of wander in only to come running back out when I tell her no. With her it all comes down to repetition. But it would be really really nice to not have that baby gate to step over every time.